Dance Music Awards: Nominees and Winners

On 22 March in Miami the twenty-second International Dance Music Awards took place - a music award in the field of the dance industry. Generally, strictly speaking, the annual International Dance Music Awards has about the same relation to genuine electronic culture as, say, the "Golden Gramophone" award has to the concept of music in general. Every year more than 10,000 people who occupy no small place in the music business choose the artists who shone most brightly in the past year. Well, it's not for us to judge their sanity, but the fact remains - the best compositions, remixes, mixes, radio programmes and other products of musicians' vital activity, as well as the artists, labels, clubs and promo groups of 2006 themselves, look like this:

The underground in all its glory - here's MTV's hero Paul Oakenfold with the actress Brittany Murphy, and the Latin macho pretty-boy who chewed soulful house into pap for housewives - Roger Sanchez, and an attempt to pass off a mash-up version of old hits as a new track by Mousse T, and pseudo-disco from Peter Rauhofer's label Star 69. It's quite logical that in such company even Fedde Le Grand would look like the Japanese noise-terrorist Merzbow at a flute-and-orchestra concert. And he, as was to be expected, won.

All the music critics unequivocally handed victory to Snow Patrol - genuinely one of the most worthy outfits in the "dance rock" genre. Some preferred the disco-agitators Scissor Sisters, sparkling and bright as a firecracker going off in a cage with a parrot. But the winners, oddly enough, were Gabriel & Dresden, who hadn't strayed from their usual progressive trance with vocals. What anyone saw as "rock" in it, let alone "alternative", who knows, but the guys are surely pleased to get an award, so let's be glad for them.

The major American label Ultra Records fielded a whole two compositions that made it into the award's nominees, but alas, they achieved no more than that. Neither the duo Shape UK, nor the latest project of Phats & Small member Russell Small and his Freemasons, nor even the all-powerful Bob Sinclar - none could outdo Erick Morillo's great friend, who released the best house track of 2006 on the Subliminal label, Harry "Choo Choo" Romero with the charming Ramona.

Well, here everything's clear. On black territory the whites win - Justin and Fergie. And the ubiquitous Beyoncé grabbed two nominations for songs that are decent enough, but all the same endlessly removed from the people.

The reasons for Alison Goldfrapp making it into the nominees are as foggy and unclear as Gabriel & Dresden's victory in the best-rockers category. And the winner, and quite deservedly so, was Tiesto's radio hit with Faithless frontman Maxi Jazz.

The Americans have generally heard little about trends in drum'n'bass, so they chose the tracks easiest to comprehend. Of the artists on offer only Subfocus and TC are somehow worthy of mention; the producer of vocal drum'n'bass with a Brazilian flavour, Marky, could also have counted on winning, but the prize went to some Martin. Well, congratulations.

From the one-hit-wonder tracks and Jamiroquai, who inexplicably ended up here, they chose, once again, the one musician whose work can actually be called Breaks/Electro. Fedde Le Grand snatched yet another prize, and the logic of the award committee ceases to lend itself to any explanation whatsoever.

To the number one DJ - first prize, it all makes sense. It's interesting who the Ortofon company will be handing its awards to when everyone switches to CD, Serato and Ableton?

The best "rockers" receive a prize from a company that manufactures needles for vinyl turntables. Isn't that the irony of fate? And there's nothing to say against the list of nominees - the best American DJs, right down the list. Only Christopher Lawrence is missing, but he, evidently, doesn't use Ortofon needles.

As they say, "the same cast, plus Carl Cox". Tiesto, who has played at the Olympics and in Disneyland, receives this prize for his achievements in promoting the brand.

And then along came Armin Van Buuren and beat them all. Even the old-timer Pete Tong couldn't withstand the assault of progressive trance, and ceded the top spot.

It's quite natural that the author of the best radio show should record the best studio mix. And so it turned out - the collection of achievements of the national-economy factory called A State of Trance beats both its colleagues from the euro-trance shop, Tiesto and Above & Beyond. House mixes have no chance in such company, as was vividly demonstrated.

Not a single new name - conservative America makes its choice. Against their backdrop even the German duo Cosmic Gate looks like a "Bratya Grim" disc that ended up in a collection of Nirvana albums. And musically - it's all as expected - trance. This time from Tiesto, though any of the nominees could have been in his place.

The experts decided to express their respect for hip-hop in the "best musician" category. One of the best producers is worthy of every praise - all the pop singers, male and female, having received his musical support, sooner or later end up in the charts. And sooner rather than later. Justin Timberlake's success is his doing. And the trance producers have already had their share.

Junior Vasquez has been making remixes for so long that it's high time a monument was put up to him, maybe even on horseback and with a flag in his hands. Out of an ordinary answering-machine message he can make a hit of international scale. And it doesn't matter that the voice on the answering machine belongs to Madonna - comrade Junior knows thousands of times more about dance music than most music journalists and critics.

Music videos in electronic culture are a separate conversation altogether. One can argue at length about whether the image kills the music or not, so we won't delve into analysis and will simply state the fact - the best dance video was Madonna's. On which we congratulate her.

Podcasts have come to replace radio programmes, and are gaining ever greater popularity. The reason lies in the fact that people entrust the difficult choice of a playlist to someone whom they trust with the matter of shaping their own taste. American experts trust their own most of all - Roger Sanchez. They can be understood - all the European "intellectual" searchings pale before the pure joy of soulful house.

Men all over the world vote for the beauty Fergie, the blonde Rachel Panay or the seductive Sarah Atereth, each of whom released an album in 2006. There's just one snag: all their music has about as much relation to dance music as the band HIM has to goth. And then who comes along? That's right, Fedde Le Grand. This is already his third award, and it's no longer funny.

Among the gang of unhinged teenagers Panic at the Disco and the project Freemasons, the duo of producer Danger Mouse and the joker Cee-Lo wins without even unpacking their weapons. They're a cut above - not by a head, but by a whole torso.

In the company of young, pleasant girls Mr Timberlake is quite lost, while Madonna, without even a backward glance, takes the prize as best dance artist.

Tell a fan of late-80s DM that their idols would not only win in the "best dance group" category but would be competing for that title with Pet Shop Boys (that's still all right) and with Black Eyed Peas (that's already beyond the pale), and he'd merely spit contemptuously and cross himself. And there you have it - horses and people all mixed up in a heap... And these days people dance exclusively to Depeche Mode.

In the battle of the titans of music journalism, DJ Mag won. We congratulate our colleagues, and will refrain from comment.

In the battle of the Davids against Goliath, contrary to biblical wisdom, the giant wins. The Ultra Records company is responsible for the greater part of the dance music released in the USA, and it's no surprise that it received this prize. And the fact that Ultra also figures among the award's organisers - that's just a coincidence.

In this battle such ancient prehistoric monsters clashed that the choice came down to whoever brought their owners the most money. Here MoS has no competitors - greedy as hungry bulldogs, they've captured the minds of the man in the street and become one of the trendsetters of club fashion. The cause of this is a craving for profit, which some call omnivorousness and others a lack of principles. Only in this label's catalogue can you see ATB, Fischerspooner and Josh Wink all at once.

In my opinion it's a splendid idea - to compete for the best-event award while at that very event. On the whole there's nothing puzzling here - if the award were being handed out at Love Parade, guess who would win?

However hard the Pacha franchise tried to conquer the world, there's still no better club than Amnesia. Although for some, their own kitchen is the best club. But in the list of nominees we see a hint of where a restless soul should go in search of maximum comfort - it's either London or Ibiza. No other places on Earth exist.